So where did I leave you ? I’m seriously confused now as the movie and the books timeline has completely been altered.
So, despite the last three quarters of it where we’ve had Damien refusing to let Audrina near Arden , they are now one big happy family and audrina is no longer trying to escape her “coffin” and is not at all suspicious or questioning of her pa … which by this point in the book Audrina had in fact been released from her drug addled mind and was beginning to finally wise up .. Nothing can stop this happy little set up.
Oh hang on ….the bitch is back
Yep Vera returns for thanksgiving with a pie – what is it with lifetime and pies ? Is it supposed to be a symbolism of wholesomness?!?
You know, literally if they were going for symbolism they could have had her roll up all in her green suit and feathered hat purring “hello my sweet audrina” . As everyone knows green is the colour of Envy, Vera is Envy and literally Virginia had put so much detail into that outfit us fans have been imagining it for years 😯 But no , another simple thing that means so much on all levels missed out.
Vera is welcomed by audrina after some major gaslighting of the past and then comes out with what is possibly the worst line in history
” I find babies so erotic”
“They suck on your boobs all day”
Even book Vera would screw her nose up at that one one and this was the girl who happily masturbasted in front of her cousin , who had been sexually assaulted.
We’ll just file that line in the ever expanding archives of terrible lines in
v c andrews adaptation s by Lifetime
And this kinda goes with my problem with Vera , whilst she was brilliantly played by Tess Atkins and the most like the book , she was very much a one dimensional villian , she was immature regarding sex as opposed to the disturbingly grown up and knowledgeable Vera we know and her deliberate attempt at seducing Arden who in his “one weak moment” kissed her back – shock horror!
Puh-lease any fan know Arden and Vera have been at it on and off since they were 14 , even audrina know s it, kind of,and bless her she’s not very bright due to years of ( unknowst) drug abuse.
More importantly at this point she is indifferent and numb to it . But hell no , this is a lifetime movie , audrina catches them and Arden the romantic hero dashes off to explain as she runs away heart broken ….. she nobly “releases him” as she can’t be the wife he wants . Seriously. …. and begs/demands him to tell her the truth of the first Audrina
Now at this point we have 20 mins left and obviously coming towards the books shock endi
ng /twist …..
Again not wanting the romantic hero to be the arse hole he actually is … Arden in this version was held down and forced to watch . Give us some credit we all know he ran. Like a bitch as corrine foxworth II would say. This in turn makes audrina run to the cupola, no spiral staircase 😯 here and stand on the ledge of the roof. Damien rushes onto the roof and recounts the fate of the first Audrina. ….which is actually audrina
Now, these flashback scenes throughout were wonderful, beautifully shot and acted
This sent her into a frenzy of disbelief and we get the iconic digging up the grave with her bare hands scene
Unfortunately the sex on the grave scene was relegated to sex in a shed which kinda made me wonder where had the shed appeared from ?
But I digress, OK what now ? 10 mins left and the ending has been done kinda – oh no we get a lovely part of her coming to terms with everything by throwing out the playroom stuff
And it’s still not over. …
Finally we get the creepy Au-dr-ee-na voices which causes her to go wandering around in the dark and resulting in a violent shove down those stairs, audrina is now comatose and Vera the mistress of the house.
Vera relishes in her duties by almost date raping Arden and turning audrina s breathing apparatus off in the hope she d die.
But ! Plan foiled! Audrina wakes up and makes so much noise it wakens Damien and Arden from his drug induced sleep and what’s this ? She’s been having flashbacks as well as remembering Veras confession whilst she was in the coma.
It was Vera all the time ! Vera planned the rape (yes but not when she was six as your flashback shows lifetime !) , Vera pushed her own mother down the stairs and Vera tried to kill Audrina.
All because Damien never loved her.
Cue to a chase benny hill would be proud of and bye bye Vera – you’re dead …falling down the stairs like mommy dearest.
Now the big bad s dead they lived happily ever after …… seriously.
Ugh. Now don’t get me wrong this movie was watchable and yes despite knowing the plot line I was on the edge of my seat. I’d even give it three stars.
But it could have been so much better , it could have been 5 stars and done VCA and the book some justice. If it had just had a few tweaks , had followed the book more closely and given the fans the iconic scenes they wanted.
As a fan I wanted to see Audrina skipping the light fantastic on the stained glass windows , oblivious to the fact she is being drugged. I wanted the girl with kaleidoscope eyes who was confused and numb to the constant abuse she suffered until she slowly began to realise on her own that things weren’t right. I wanted audrina and Veras childhood shown , Kacey Rohl even could have played Vera no problem up until she returns from New york. I wanted the playground chant I wanted the playroom song , I wanted bitter aunt Ellsbeth and loving Lucietta at each others throat s over the house , the children and Damien during Aunt Mercy Marie s Teatime. I wanted Billie and also the cottage setting in the woods… I wanted sylvia … I wanted everytime audrina had the opportunity to escape the house something pulled her back…. and I wanted the messed up ending. ..not to mention all the mysterious deaths.
My Sweet Audrina deserved to be adapted by a team who had at least read the book , who had proof they were able to provide the gothic , horrific element s of the story balanced with sympathy yet not shy to be out there. Who would not do things for shock value alone. Honestly, I always thought Ryan Murphy and Brad Fulchuck of American Horror Story would be the most perfect team to have produced this.
Instead what we got was an OK but forgettable adaptation of a brilliant book.